So Michelle shared her version of Noah’s story and I
decided to share my version.
August 25! We had a date!! Noah
was to come on the 25th. It was a day after he was suppose to be here but at
least we knew and weren’t playing the labor guessing game. Though, yes he could
still come before, we at least had a potential date. I really wasn’t thinking
he could come earlier. In my head he would be here on the 26th.
On the 24th, I
went to bed at my normal time, around 11 p.m. and then around 11:30 p.m. Michelle
woke me up saying she thought she had some gas pain in her stomach. As I tried
to comfort her, I noticed the pain seemed to come and go. As the time passed I
began to think…maybe Noah is ready! So we began to time them and as they became
closer and closer things started to get real. When they reached 5 minutes apart
we grabbed our stuff and loaded up the car. It was a surreal moment when I
placed the car seat in the back, knowing that when we would return it would be full.
The drive to the hospital took way
longer than it probably should have. I’ve never driven so cautiously in my
life. I was terrified of deer jumping out, hitting potholes and the occasional
werewolf (because you know, it’s Shipshewana). When we finally got there, I
dropped Michelle off and parked the car. When we got to the OB floor, they got
us check in quickly and put in a room. By this time her contractions had
increased in intensity. They were coming every 3-5 minutes now. I have heard
stories of how helpless guys feel during labor, and it wasn’t until we were
there that I understood. I couldn’t do anything. There was nothing I could do
to make the pain go away. All I could do was to sit there and hold her hand and
squeeze it back. In between contractions I tried to make her as comfortable as
possible, whether that meant getting her water, fluffing her pillows, just
anything I could do. This helped me, too, to feel like I was at least
contributing.
This went on for a few hours (but
it felt like days) and then the anesthesiologist came in for the epidural. He
went over the procedure and the risks and had Michelle sign some consent forms.
I think we were both ready at that point to get some decent pain meds pumping.
He got the meds going with out any real problems, but then…as he was cleaning
up Michelle’s blood pressure decided to drop. It dropped a lot! As I stared at
the monitor and watched as Michelle’s blood pressure dropped, I went over and
held her hand and tried to stay calm. I just keep smiling at her (though in my
head I was freaking out!!!!) and telling her everything will be ok. I am not
sure what made me “snap” out of my trance but I looked around and there were
more nurses and the OB in the room now. They were pushing epinephrine, hanging
more bags of saline and had an ultra sound going to check on Noah. As
Michelle’s blood pressure went down, Noah wasn’t getting the blood he needed so
his heart rate went down too. At one point the OB said “guys if we don’t get
his heart rate up we are going to have to get him out!” I don’t know how long
this orchestrated chaos went on for but finally everything settled back down.
Whew!!!
A few more hours passed, Noah’s
heart rate wasn’t having the variability they would like to see so the OB came
in to have the “talk.” We went over the pros and cons of a c-section and we
signed the consent forms. As we were talking, Noah’s heart rate began to have
the variability that they needed to see so we decided to hold off on the
c-section. They gave her some Pitocin to help speed along her labor. After a
few more hours her labor really wasn’t progressing much and so they decided to
re-evaluate. That’s when the OB came back in and said that she was concerned
about Noah’s heart rate. It was going down after Michelle’s contractions. It
should normally go down at the same time as her contractions. The OB suggested
we get him out now. So we said OK and the OB called to prep the OR. It was a
whirlwind of nurses coming in and unhooking her IVs and her monitors. I went
over and held her hand again and just tried to stay calm again. Before the
nurses wheeled her away we took a moment to ourselves. After a few minutes the
nurse came in and wheeled her out. At that moment I had never felt so helpless.
My wife was being whisked away for surgery, and I was left in the room.
Another
nurse came in and we moved our stuff into another room and I got on my scrubs.
I waited in the room for 10 minutes. When they called me back, she was on the
table and the separator was up. They had a seat for me already right next to
her head. I sat down and just started talking. I tried to think of anything I
could have to help distract her. About 7 minutes later the anesthesiologist
said “well dad if you want to look, now is the time.” So I looked at Michelle for permission and she just laughed and said yes, look!! As I looked over the divider they were
pulling Noah out.
It was literally the single most
incredible moment of my life. To watch the exact moment I became a father is
priceless. The seconds it took him to start to cry seemed to last forever but
we did eventually hear a little whimper. Then they took him to clean him up, and
I got to cut the cord. He was blue until he took his first real breath and his
color changed to red, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief!
I cut the cord and watched them
check him over. We brought him over to Michelle and placed him on her chest. It
was our first family moment. The nurses were great as they took our pictures
and talked to us to reassure us that everything was OK.
There are simply no words in the
English language that can explain the feeling of being a parent, the feeling I
get as I watch Michelle’s face brighten up when she holds him, when he looks up
at me when I’m feeding him and the feeling I get when I see how he brings such joy to
our family and friends. Our lives are forever changed. We are officially a
family.
-Matt
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